Alternative history is in my experience (mostly from Turtledove-books) similar to our history, society and technology but on many peculiar or important points totaly different.
Equality of women doesn't have to be debated endlessly, for we know there is a possibility that in our created world men and woman don't differentiate much in strength, intellect or interest. It just happens that women are the one bringing children into the world and men have to make sure that during these moment of vulnerability (to my knowledge women who are into their 9th month aren't as agile as they were 9 months before) they are protected properly.
On the point of saying if you do magic we might aswell do fantasy. Just read "Toxic Spell Dump" of Harry Turtledove. This books describes a world were technology never came along and everything is ran through some form of magic (from phones to coffee-machines). Yet nothing in the whole story feels asif yer reading fantasy.
Although fantasy and alernative history do like to brush shoulders, but you can only speak of AH if you have differences but still plenty of exact similarities. Fantasy usually creates complete realities from scratch.