Well, to have a society where the sexes are treated as equal, you'd have to alter a few of the basics of how a society functions. Let's look at the reasons why male-dominated societies have dominated the real world. The differences between men and women are, at the most basic level, that men are physiaclly stronger and women bear the children. This leads to men dominating society because:-
Brute Force. A lot of interaction, both on a personal and a political level, can be settled by resorting to violence or threatening to do so, especially in a less complex society. Men, being stronger, have the advantage when this happens. Forget Xena fantasies about sword-swinging warrior women, which are as likely as real world magic. Men have more weight, reach and upper body strength and anyone who doesn't think that's a deciding factor has never been in a real fight.
High Mortality. Until good medicine is developed, the majority of women have to stay preggnant most of their lives just to keep the population growth in posistive figures. Plus, until the development of effective contraception, women have to completely abstain from sex or start planning for a family.
Division of labour. Men go out to work and women stay at home- this has been the norm across the whole world up until the last few decades, and it didn't happen by accident. Men, being stronger, are more effective at heavy labour. By the time a society gets to the point where some types of work don't involve brute strength, the pattern has already been set. And housekeeping is a full time job prior to the invention of domestic appliances- somebody has to spend all day cooking, cleaning and looking after the kids, and for the previously mentioned reason, the men are employed elsewhere.
In order for a society to have both equality of the sexes and long-term social stability, it must have access to two things. A way of rendering the difference in physical strength meaningless, and reliable medicine which includes contraception. In the real world, science provided these things. In this alternative world, some other method must be found- possibly magic, though several have said they'd prefer this to be rarer than in the default D&D settings.
And on the Matriarchy point Norah seems to be arguing for... Firstly, this thread assumes the Alternate History setting that many have expressed an interest in, which rules out matriarchy- this has, as far as we can tell, never existed in the real world. There are some who argue otherwise, but in every case their arguments seem to me to be a collection of circumstantial evidence strung together with a passionately argued case based more on their personal convictions than any facts. Secondly, as you may gather from this post, I like to have solid reasons why societies are the way they are. Come up with a solid reason why a society would become a matriarchy, and I'll consider that background. But any matriarchal settings I've come across in books fail to achieve this.